There are some verbs that are hard to use in Italian because they work differently from in English in terms of subjects and objects (who does what to whom?).
We have talked about piacere (to like) where things are really turned around. See the lesson: I like it - Mi piace. Another verb that can cause a whole lot of confusion in a similar way is mancare. There is already a lesson about this verb, a verb that is used in various ways. But right now, let's look at the verb when we use it to say something like "I miss you," or "Do you miss me?" It is very tricky because it often involves pronouns, and we all know that distinguishing between subject and object pronouns isn't always so easy.
In an episode of La Ladra, Lorenzo and Dante are talking about the fact that Dante misses Eva and Eva misses Dante.
Nel senso che anche [a] te manca mia madre?
Because you miss my mother, as well?
Mi sa che manchi anche a lei, eh.
I think she misses you, too, huh.
Captions 10-11, La Ladra - Ep.12 - Come ai vecchi tempi
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In English "to miss" is a transitive verb, and the definition we are talking about here is not even the first one. In WordReference, it is number 6!
to regret the absence or loss of:
[~ + object] I miss you all dreadfully.
[~ + verb-ing] He missed watching the African sunsets.
In Italian, we have to think of things a bit differently. The definition of mancare is "to be lacking in" or "to be missing." So we're close.
But in Italian, the verb mancare has to agree with the person who is being missed. Weird, right?
So if I am feeling your absence, I miss you. You are missing from my life.
Expressed in Italian,
Sento la tua mancanza. Mi manchi. (I feel your absence. You are missing from my life right now!)
Let's look at some practical examples. Keep in mind that in this context, mancare is intransitive, so we need a preposition before the person who is feeling the absence. When we use the name of a person, we need to add the preposition a (to), but the tricky thing is that when we're using pronouns, the preposition is often included in the indirect pronoun. Mi = a me (to me), Ti = a te (to you).
Giovanni sente molto la mancanza di Anna. Lei sta studiando all'estero (Giovanni feels the absence of Anna. She is studying abroad). (She is missing from his life.)
A Giovanni manca Anna. Gli manca (Giovanni misses Anna. He misses her [he feels her absence]).
Gli stands for a lui (to him).
Non ti vedo da una vita. Mi manchi. (I haven't seen you in a long time. I miss you). (You are missing from my life)
Mi manca andare in ufficio tutti it giorni (I miss going to the office every day). (It's missing from my life.)
Now here, in the next example, who is being missed is in the plural: Parents. So the verb mancare is in the plural, too.
I miei genitori stanno a Roma. Io sto a Bologna. Mi mancano i miei genitori (My parents live in Rome. I live in Bologna. I miss my parents). (They are missing from my life.)
Ti mancano i tuoi genitori? So che stanno a New York (Do you miss your parents? I know they live in New York). (Are they missng from your life?)
You have to turn your mind around a bit to nail this, but with time and practice, you'll get it. And it's not something you want to get wrong.
Here are some Yabla video examples of people using mancare when they miss someone or something.
In this example, a woman is talking to her ex-husband about her new partner. She still misses her ex-husband and is telling him so.
A volte con Carlo è difficile,
Sometimes, Carlo is difficult,
ma non riesco a lasciarlo.
but I can't manage to leave him.
Anche se a volte mi manchi da morire.
Even if sometimes I miss you to death [like crazy].
Captions 6-8, Adriano Olivetti - La forza di un sogno Ep. 1
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To be clearer, she could have said, Anche se a volte tu mi manchi da morire.
In this example, Manara is trying to get used to living in Tuscany, as opposed to Milan.
Qui da Lei sto benissimo, eh. -Ah, ah.
At your place, I'm really fine, you know. -Ah, ah.
-Però mi manca la città, il traffico, il rumore, capisci?
-But I miss the city, the traffic, the noise, you understand?
Captions 38-39, Il Commissario Manara - S1EP3 - Rapsodia in Blu
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Here's an example where someone is being interviewed. The question is formal, but the answer is very colloquial.
Capisco. Quindi adesso il suo amico Le manca?
I understand. So, now you miss your friend?
-E cazzo se mi manca, sì, sì.
-Sure as shit, I miss him, yes, yes.
Captions 39-40, Chi m'ha visto - film
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Here's an example where you really need to turn your mind around. Gli manco. I am missing from his (Luca's) life. He misses me.
Con Luca tutto bene?
Everything all right with Luca?
-Non vede l'ora di tornare. Gli manco.
-He can't wait to come back. He misses me.
Captions 33-34, La Ladra - EP. 8 - Il momento giusto
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When we go into the passato prossimo (present perfect tense structure), it's important to remember that in this context, we need the auxiliary verb essere (to be), not avere (to have).
Amore, quanto mi sei mancato!
Love, I've missed you so much!
-Sono tornato, ma non è cambiato niente.
-I'm back, but nothing has changed.
Captions 49-50, La Ladra - EP. 8 - Il momento giusto
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1) In this case, Eva is talking to her son, but what if she had been talking to her daughter?
2/3) Can you turn the first part into a question? You are asking the person if they missed you. Are you a male or a female? The ending of the past participle will change accordingly.
Think about all the people you miss, the people you can't get together with. A single person? An animal? A city? A country? Mancare will be in the third person singular. If it's parents, friends, animals, then it will be in the third person plural.
If you are writing to a couple, your parents, then you will want to conjugate mancare in the second person plural (mancate).
If someone misses you, then you are the one who gets conjugated. You are missing from someone's life.
There are other ways to use the verb mancare, as you'll see if you look it up or do a Yabla search, but in this lesson, we wanted to isolate a particular situation. It's the trickiest one.
If you have trouble, let us know and we'll help. You'll want to get this right.
Extra credit:
1) Amore, quanto mi sei mancata! -Sono tornata, ma non è cambiato niente.
2) Amore, [quanto] ti sono mancato?
3) Amore, [quanto] ti sono mancata?
The Italian word for “to want” is volere. See Daniela’s lesson about volere and other modal verbs.
Ma insomma, adesso, tu che cosa vuoi veramente?
Well, all things considered, now, you, what do you really want?
Caption 27, Il Commissario Manara - S1EP6 - Reazione a Catena
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But it’s not always as easy as just conjugating the verb, like in the above example. English speakers actively want things, or want to do things, but Italians, more often than not, use the noun form voglia (desire) with avere (to have) as the action. We often translate aver voglia as “to have the desire,” or “to feel like”.
Se non ho più voglia mi fermo.
If I don't feel like it anymore, I stop.
Caption 8, Gianni si racconta - L'olivo e i rovi
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When we want to be polite, we use the conditional of volere, just like the English “I would like” rather than “I want.”
Vorrei parlare con il commissario.
I’d like to speak with the commissioner.
But when we’re done with being polite, and want to be more insistent, we forget about the conditional and go with the indicative. Imagine someone raising their voice a bit.
Voglio parlare col commissario. -Il commissario è di servizio.
I want to talk to the Commissioner. -The Commissioner is busy.
-Voglio parlare con il commissario!
-I want to speak to the Commissioner!
Captions 43-44, Il Commissario Manara - S1EP7 - Sogni di Vetro
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We can also use the conditional with the noun form voglia, but the conditional is applied to the active verb, in this case, avere (to have). This is not a polite form like in the example with vorrei above. It’s true conditional. In the following example, I know very well no one is going to let me sleep for twelve hours, but it sure would be nice! Translating it with “love” instead of “like” gets the idea across.
Avrei voglia di dormire dodici ore.
I’d love to sleep for twelve hours.
Another common way volere is used in Italian is as the equivalent of “to take” or “to need” in English. Note that in this case ci means “for it,” not “us,” as you might be led to believe!
Allora, per le bruschette ci vuole: il pane.
So, for the "bruschettas" we need: bread.
Caption 7, Anna e Marika - La mozzarella di bufala - La produzione e i tagli
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In a previous lesson we used metterci to talk about how long something takes. We can use volere in a similar way. While with metterci, we can be personal:
Io ci metto cinque minuti.
It takes me five minutes.
With volere, it’s impersonal and refers to anyone.
Ci vuole tanto tempo per attraversare Milano in macchina.
It takes a lot of time to get across Milan by car.
This kind of sentence also works in the conditional:
Ci vorrebbero tre ore per attraversare Milano in macchina!
It would take three hours to get across Milan by car!
Sometimes problems add up and finally you might say, “That’s all we need” or “that’s all we needed.” That’s when it’s time for non ci voleva (that's not what was needed).
Un tubo in bagno che perde,
A leaky pipe in the bathroom,
proprio non ci voleva.
that's really not what was needed [the last thing I needed].
Caption 31, Il Commissario Manara - S1EP3 - Rapsodia in Blu
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And just for fun:
Il turno di notte ancora! Non ci voleva. I have to go to work, ma non ci ho voglia! Avrei voglia di andare in città a fare quello che voglio. Se vuoi, puoi venire con me. C’è un bel film che vorrei vedere, peccato che ci vuole troppo tempo per arrivarci in tempo. Ci vorrebbe un ora buona!
The night shift again! That’s the last thing I needed. I have to go to work but I don’t feel like it. I’d love to go to the city and do what I want. If you want, you can come with me. There’s a great film that I would like to see; too bad it takes too long to get there in time. It would take a good hour!
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