What words and expressions can we use in Italian to talk about getting along with other people, or not getting along? There are plenty of ways, some more mainstream, and others more colloquial or even vulgar, especially when it's about not getting along.
First of all, let's mention the classic term simpatico, which is tough to translate accurately (see this lesson). Although simpatico is not strictly connected with getting along, it is often a factor.
Someone can be simpatico, meaning they are friendly, easy to get along with, nice, likeable. None of these descriptions alone is enough to express the idea of simpatico. But simpatico has become a word that many English speakers understand. We can use simpatico as an adjective to describe a person:
Nick è uno simpatico, un po' fuori di testa.
Nick is a nice guy, a bit crazy.
Captions 56-57, I Bastardi di Pizzofalcone S1EP4 Gelo - Part 10
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But we can personalize it a bit by using the verb stare instead of essere and adding a personal pronoun. This is one way of getting around the fact that "to like" is transitive in English but not in Italian. We've mentioned in another lesson that mi piace can have various connotations, but stare simpatico is more generic and "safe."
Anche se la conoscevo poco, mi stava simpatica. -Certo.
Even if I didn't know her well, I liked her. -Of course.
Caption 10, I Bastardi di Pizzofalcone S1EP1 I Bastardi - Part 14
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The opposite of simpatico is antipatico. But while we can use antipatico to describe a person, we also use it to describe something unpleasant like a medical procedure. It often means "unpleasant" in this context. In the following example, "unfriendly" was the translation but it could also have been "unpleasant," "not nice." Sometimes we might use "nasty," but that is a strong word.
È severo e pure un po' antipatico.
He is stern and also a bit unfriendly.
Caption 41, Provaci ancora prof! S1E4 - La mia compagna di banco - Part 4
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In terms of getting along, the classic phrasal verb is andare d'accordo (literally, "to go in agreement").
Non mi avevi detto che andavate d'accordo? -Sì, andiamo d'accordo.
Didn't you tell me you got along great? -Yes, we get along.
Captions 77-78, Questione di Karma Rai Cinema - Part 15
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Sai quanto tuo marito mi sta antipatico, e questo lo abbiamo capito fra le righe, però andare d'accordo con te non è che è facile, eh.
You know how much I don't like your husband, and this we have figured out, reading between the lines, but getting along with you isn't easy, huh.
Captions 5-8, Un medico in famiglia Stagione 1 EP3 Un cugino in fuga - Part 14
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Another way to express "getting along" in a very positive way, is with stare bene. Stare bene can mean "to feel good," "to be comfortable," or "to be in good health." Stare insieme is used when two people are in a couple. Stanno insieme (they are together, they're a couple).
Stiamo bene insieme.
We get along well together/we go well together.
Caption 29, Sposami EP 5 - Part 23
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Sometimes you can get along with someone you don't like, but sometimes people are mean. In Italian, we use vedere (to see) instead of "to stand," when you can't stand someone.
Per esempio: "Nicoletta è sempre antipatica con me". E in effetti, anche io non la posso vedere.
For example: "Nicoletta is always nasty to me." And, actually, I can't stand her either.
Captions 41-42, Marika spiega Il verbo vedere - Part 2
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Sometimes we don't get along with someone because one of us is a pain in the butt. The socially acceptable way to describe this type of person is un rompiscatole. See this lesson for a closer look.
Problemi? -No, niente, è solo 'sta [questa] rompiscatole.
Problems? -No, nothing. It's just this pain in the ass.
Caption 91, Provaci ancora prof! S1E3 - Una piccola bestia ferita - Part 1
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Now we get to more vulgar terms. Replacing rompiscatole with rompipalle or rompiballe (literally "ballbreaker," pain in the ass) is more vulgar. We again use stare (to be, to stay) together with a word for male genitalia or some euphemism. We are describing someone who can't stand someone else. The next example is quite vulgar, although used a lot, except in polite company.
Magari gli stavo sul cazzo.
Maybe to him I was a pain in the ass.
Caption 67, I Bastardi di Pizzofalcone S1EP1 I Bastardi - Part 9
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To make this more socially acceptable, it could be:
Magari gli stavo sulle scatole.
Mi ha accollato agli altri a forza e il risultato finale è che sono appena arrivato e sto già sul cazzo a tutti.
He forced me on the others and the end result is that I only just arrived and I'm already pissing everyone off.
Captions 31-32, La compagnia del cigno EP 2 - Part 3
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We might have translated this another way, too:
Sto già sul cazzo a tutti.
Everyone already hates me/can't stand me/I am already hated by everyone.
Although the word order is different from what we say in English, the idea is that someone is hated by someone else.
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Let's talk about adverbs we can use to add a qualifier to an adjective. We can say someone is gentile (nice). But we can qualify that with an adverb such as molto (very), poco (not very), abbastanza (rather, enough), and others.
Molto (very) and poco (not very) go hand in hand. They can be either adjectives or adverbs. When they're adjectives, we change the ending according to what they modify. But when they're used as adverbs, they are invariable.
Molto is perhaps the one we hear most often. In our first example, molto becomes molti to agree with negozi (the plural of negozio). This is because it is functioning as an adjective. For more on this topic, see Daniela's lessons.
A qui [sic], a Mondello ci sono molti negozi.
Here in Mondello there are many shops:
Caption 18, Adriano - a Mondello
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In the next example, however, molto is an adverb modifying forte (strong). As an adverb, the ending doesn't ever change. And in English, the meaning changes to "very."
In estate qui il sole è molto forte.
In summer, the sun here is very strong.
Caption 40, Adriano - Le stagioni dell'anno
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Poco works the same way as molto and can be used as an adjective or an adverb. Here, poche agrees with ore (the plural of ora).
Poche ore fa, non più di tre.
Just a few hours ago, no more than three.
Caption 43, Il Commissario Manara - S2EP2 - L'addio di Lara
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But here, it's an adverb modifying chiaro (clear).
C'è sicuramente qualcosa di poco chiaro là sotto.
There is for sure something not very clear underneath it all.
Caption 40, I Bastardi di Pizzofalcone - EP1 I Bastardi - Part 15
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Molto and poco are opposites, more or less, but we have some "in-between" words, too.
Abbastanza is interesting because it comes from the verb bastare (to suffice). So the most logical translation for abbastanza might be "sufficiently" — to the degree of being sufficient, or "enough," which in English comes after the adjective it modifies. In everyday speech, however, we often equate abbastanza with "rather," "fairly," or in colloquial speech, "pretty."
Era abbastanza timida, abbastanza riservata.
She was rather shy, rather reserved.
Caption 2, Illuminate - Rita Levi Montalcini
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Certo, Lojacono mi sembra uno abbastanza sveglio,
Of course, Lojacono seems quite smart to me,
ma per quanto riguarda il resto della squadra,
but regarding the rest of the team,
Lei è messo male, io lo so.
you are in bad shape, I know.
Captions 36-38, I Bastardi di Pizzofalcone - EP1 I Bastardi - Part 9
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A synonym for abbastanza is piuttosto, usually translated as "rather." It's on the positive end of the scale but not at the top. When you say abbastanza, you might be saying something is lacking, that something is just sufficient, especially when coupled with a positive adjective such as buono (good) bene, (good, well) or bello (beautiful, nice).
Come ti senti?
How do you feel?
Abbastanza bene. -Ce la fai?
Pretty good. -Can you manage?
Captions 72-73, Il Commissario Manara - S2EP11 - Uno strano incidente di caccia
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But with piuttosto, it's usually positive relative to what it's modifying and serves to reinforce the positive aspect of something without actually going to the point of saying molto (very). So it's generally (but not always) higher on the scale than abbastanza.
Anche se, su certi argomenti, se la cava piuttosto bene devo dire.
Even though, on some subjects, she manages rather well, I must say.
Caption 52, Il Commissario Manara - S1EP8 - Morte di un buttero
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So of course it can also modify a negative adjective, and reinforces its characteristic, as in this example:
La gestione all'interno della casa
The running of the household
è stata piuttosto complicata, i primi giorni,
was quite complicated, the first days,
Captions 2-3, COVID-19 - 3) La quarantena
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Nella memory card ce n'erano anche altre, piuttosto sfocate.
On the memory card there were others too, and rather blurry.
Caption 9, Il Commissario Manara - S2EP4 - Miss Maremma
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This adverb is similar to piuttosto, but is often another way of saying molto (much, very). But it can also be just a short step lower than molto, depending on the context and the region the speaker is from.
Ma in realtà, pensate, dopo praticamente sette secoli e più,
But actually, just think: After practically seven-plus centuries,
questi colori si sono leggermente sbiaditi. Sono assai meno brillanti.
these colors have faded somewhat. They are much less brilliant.
Captions 26-27, Meraviglie - EP. 4 - Part 4
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Another qualifying adverb is parecchio (a great deal). It's used a lot as an adjective, but works fine as an adverb, too. See this lesson.
Quindi, quando sarà finito, sicuramente mi riposerò,
So, when it's all done, I'll take a break, for sure,
perché sto parecchio stressata.
because I am totally stressed out.
Captions 50-51, Fuori era primavera - Viaggio nell'Italia del lockdown
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See this video for some explanations in Italian about qualifying adverbs, now that we've given you some pointers in English.
People have their personal favorites when it comes to adverb qualifiers. So keep your eyes and ears open. Listen for the variable endings when these qualifiers are adjectives, and the invariable ending when they're adverbs. This takes patience and experience. But little by little, you will put two and two together.
This list isn't set in stone, as these adverbs can be used differently by different people, but it can help give you an idea.
- •molto, parecchio
- •assai
- •piuttosto
- •abbastanza
- •poco
- •per niente (at all) — We didn't discuss this here but you will find it mentioned in other lessons if you do a search of niente.
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