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Getting along or not in Italian

What words and expressions can we use in Italian to talk about getting along with other people, or not getting along? There are plenty of ways, some more mainstream, and others more colloquial or even vulgar, especially when it's about not getting along. 

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First of all, let's mention the classic term simpatico, which is tough to translate accurately (see this lesson). Although simpatico is not strictly connected with getting along, it is often a factor.

 

Someone can be simpatico, meaning they are friendly, easy to get along with, nice, likeable. None of these descriptions alone is enough to express the idea of simpatico. But simpatico has become a word that many English speakers understand. We can use simpatico as an adjective to describe a person:

 

Nick è uno simpatico, un po' fuori di testa.

Nick is a nice guy, a bit crazy.

Captions 56-57, I Bastardi di Pizzofalcone S1EP4 Gelo - Part 10

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But we can personalize it a bit by using the verb stare instead of essere and adding a personal pronoun. This is one way of getting around the fact that "to like" is transitive in English but not in Italian. We've mentioned in another lesson that mi piace can have various connotations, but stare simpatico is more generic and "safe."

Anche se la conoscevo poco, mi stava simpatica. -Certo.

Even if I didn't know her well, I liked her. -Of course.

Caption 10, I Bastardi di Pizzofalcone S1EP1 I Bastardi - Part 14

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The opposite of simpatico is antipatico. But while we can use antipatico to describe a person, we also use it to describe something unpleasant like a medical procedure. It often means "unpleasant" in this context. In the following example, "unfriendly" was the translation but it could also have been "unpleasant," "not nice." Sometimes we might use "nasty," but that is a strong word. 

È severo e pure un po' antipatico.

He is stern and also a bit unfriendly.

Caption 41, Provaci ancora prof! S1E4 - La mia compagna di banco - Part 4

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In terms of getting along, the classic phrasal verb is andare d'accordo (literally, "to go in agreement").

Non mi avevi detto che andavate d'accordo? -Sì, andiamo d'accordo.

Didn't you tell me you got along great? -Yes, we get along.

Captions 77-78, Questione di Karma Rai Cinema - Part 15

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Sai quanto tuo marito mi sta antipatico, e questo lo abbiamo capito fra le righe, però andare d'accordo con te non è che è facile, eh.

You know how much I don't like your husband, and this we have figured out, reading between the lines, but getting along with you isn't easy, huh.

Captions 5-8, Un medico in famiglia Stagione 1 EP3 Un cugino in fuga - Part 14

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Another way to express "getting along" in a very positive way, is with stare bene. Stare bene can mean "to feel good," "to be comfortable," or "to be in good health." Stare insieme is used when two people are in a couple. Stanno insieme (they are together, they're a couple).

 

Stiamo bene insieme.

We get along well together/we go well together.

Caption 29, Sposami EP 5 - Part 23

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Sometimes you can get along with someone you don't like, but sometimes people are mean. In Italian, we use vedere (to see) instead of "to stand," when you can't stand someone. 

Per esempio: "Nicoletta è sempre antipatica con me".  E in effetti, anche io non la posso vedere.

For example: "Nicoletta is always nasty to me." And, actually, I can't stand her either.

Captions 41-42, Marika spiega Il verbo vedere - Part 2

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Sometimes we don't get along with someone because one of us is a pain in the butt. The socially acceptable way to describe this type of person is un rompiscatole. See this lesson for a closer look.

Problemi? -No, niente, è solo 'sta [questa] rompiscatole.

Problems? -No, nothing. It's just this pain in the ass.

Caption 91, Provaci ancora prof! S1E3 - Una piccola bestia ferita - Part 1

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Now we get to more vulgar terms. Replacing rompiscatole with rompipalle or rompiballe (literally "ballbreaker," pain in the ass) is more vulgar. We again use stare (to be, to stay) together with a word for male genitalia or some euphemism. We are describing someone who can't stand someone else. The next example is quite vulgar, although used a lot, except in polite company. 

Magari gli stavo sul cazzo.

Maybe to him I was a pain in the ass

Caption 67, I Bastardi di Pizzofalcone S1EP1 I Bastardi - Part 9

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To make this more socially acceptable, it could be:

Magari gli stavo sulle scatole.

 

Mi ha accollato agli altri a forza e il risultato finale è che sono appena arrivato e sto già sul cazzo a tutti.

He forced me on the others and the end result is that I only just arrived and I'm already pissing everyone off.

Captions 31-32, La compagnia del cigno EP 2 - Part 3

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We might have translated this another way, too:

Sto già sul cazzo a tutti.

Everyone already hates me/can't stand me/I am already hated by everyone.

 

Although the word order is different from what we say in English, the idea is that someone is hated by someone else. 

 

Thanks for reading. Please write to us if you have questions or comments about this topic: newsletter@yabla.com

 

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