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Addressing people in Italian

As we have seen and heard in Yabla videos, addressing people in Italian isn't always easy to figure out. Let's try to make some sense out of it.

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In I Bastardi di Pizzofalcone, for example, Lojacono always introduces himself as ispettore (detective) Lojacono, not commissario (inspector), but some people call him commissario, just in case. The following exchange highlights the tendency of many people (often of an older generation) to address someone with a higher rank than the person actually has. That way, they feel they can avoid offending the person.  

Rosa Cannavacciolo in Marino, commissario bello. -No, ispettore, sempre ispettore sono.

Rosa Cannavacciolo in Marino, kind Inspector. -No. Detective. I am still a detective.

Captions 41-42, I Bastardi di Pizzofalcone EP 3 Vicini - Part 3

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This often means addressing someone as dottore (doctor) or dottoressa (female doctor). The idea is that you can't go wrong that way.

 

While ispettore or commissario are often used by themselves, we find that questore (commissioner) will likely have signor before it. That's just the way it works. 

Buonasera, signor questore.

Good evening, Commissioner, sir.

Caption 10, I Bastardi di Pizzofalcone EP1 I Bastardi - Part 28

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As Marika tells us in her video about different professions:

Ciao. Il termine "dottore" viene da "dotto", che vuole dire sapiente. Puoi diventare dottore se hai studiato tanto e hai ottenuto una laurea.

Hi. The term "doctor" comes from "dotto," which means "learned." You can become a doctor if you have studied a great deal and you have attained a degree.

Captions 3-6, Marika spiega Medico o dottore?

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In a workplace where people are formal, the boss is often addressed as dottore or dottoressa, whether or not he or she has a degree. It's a sign of respect. In the following example, the speaker is a secretary or an assistant and she is speaking to her boss, who is a notary. 

Ci dica, dottore.

What is it, sir?

Caption 36, I Bastardi di Pizzofalcone EP1 I Bastardi - Part 19

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Again, in I Bastardi di Pizzofalcone, we have a female DA. People address her as dottoressa, because they assume that she has a degree and because she has a position that warrants respect. In Italy, once you have your university degree, called un dottorato, you can be called dottore or dottoressa

Cosa prende, dottoressa? -Un caffè.

What will you have, Ma'am? -A coffee.

Caption 6, I Bastardi di Pizzofalcone EP1 I Bastardi - Part 8

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It's always tricky to translate these forms of address because they are so different from English usage. In the previous example, we opted for "Ma'am." But we could imagine Lojacono saying, "What will you have, DA Piras?" 

 

If you are dealing with a professional, it is customary (in many cases) to use their professional title in addressing them. Daniela talks about this in her video lessons about writing formal letters and emails. The same can hold true when addressing someone in person. 

 

Allora, se il destinatario possiede un titolo riconosciuto, e quindi è importante scriverlo, possiamo sostituire "signor" e "signora" con il titolo.

So, if the recipient has a recognized qualification, and therefore it is important to write it, we can replace "Mister" and "Missus" with the title.

Captions 1-4, Corso di italiano con Daniela Lettera formale - Part 3

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If the person is an architect, for example, you can say architetto instead of signore

Architetto, Lei abita qua?

Architect, do you live here?

Caption 12, I Bastardi di Pizzofalcone EP1 I Bastardi - Part 13

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Of course, if you don't know he is an architetto, then signore will do fine, or signor and his last name. 

 

But this also exhibits the Italian tendency to avoid using names when addressing someone. Sometimes you don't know someone's name, so you use signore, signora, or signorina according to gender and presumed age group. 

 

When the person being addressed is a young man, we can use giovanotto in a semi-formal way. It's perhaps used more by older folks. Younger folks might just say, ragazzo or ragazzino.

Giovanotto, ma che stiamo facendo? Il cinema?

Young man, what are we doing? Making a movie?

Caption 28, Il Commissario Manara S2EP9 - L'amica ritrovata - Part 3

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For a young woman or girl, signorina is the way to go. When in doubt, signorina is more flattering than signora.

Lei, signorina, ha un grande talento.

You, Miss, have great talent.

Caption 11, Adriano Olivetti La forza di un sogno Ep. 1 - Part 16

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Let's remember that language is in constant evolution. It also changes according to the region. If you are traveling in Italy, you need to keep your eyes and ears open to see how people handle addressing you and others.

 

If you have watched La linea verticale, you will have noticed that patients and their family members often call the surgeon, the specialist, or any lead doctor, professore,  while in English, we address all doctors as "Doctor."  Professore is higher up in the hierarchy than dottore. And to get into the nitty-gritty, there are occasions when we will capitalize someone's title, to give them even more importance. In Italian, this is called maiuscola di rispetto o reverenziale  (capitalization out of respect or reverence). So sometimes professore will merit a capital letter and become Professore

Buongiorno, Professore. -Come stai? -Bene, Professore, però non sento le gambe.

Hello, Doctor. -How are you? -Fine, Doctor, but I don't feel my legs.

Captions 42-44, La linea verticale EP4 - Part 5

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In certain situations, there is a mix of familiar and formal. In a business, you might call your boss dottore, but pair it with his first name. Dottor Nino, for example, or dottoressa Cecilia. The same goes for signor and signora. Lots of times, you don't know someone's last name, so you can still address them formally, by using their first name: signor Giorgio, signora Letizia, or signorina Giulia.


We have addressed the question of forms of address in past lessons, so check out these lessons:

 

How to address your teacher in Italian

Getting someone's attention in Italian: ascoltare and sentire 

The dottore is in

 

In a future lesson, we'll get into specifics about addressing people with certain jobs. 

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Caring with the verb tenere

The verb tenere translates, much of the time, as "to hold," "to keep." But we also use the verb to talk about things or people we care about, that matter to us, and consequently do not want to lose. 

 

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We use it intransitively with the preposition a (to, in, about...) to mean to care about, to consider important. We can use it with things or people.

 

Io ci tengo al mi [mio] lavoro. E il mi [mio] capo nun [non] vuole grane.

I care about my job. And my boss doesn't want trouble.

Captions 21-22, Il Commissario Manara S1EP7 - Sogni di Vetro - Part 10

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In a way, the person wants to keep his or her job, so tenere makes sense. When you care about a person, but it's not the moment for talking about actual love, tenere is a good verb to use. You care about someone and you don't want to lose them. 

 

Io ci tengo a te.

I care about you.

Caption 8, Il Commissario Manara S2EP2 - L'addio di Lara - Part 1

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Another way to think about it is that "it matters."

Oh, mi raccomando, non mi fate fare cattive figure perché ci tengo, capito?

Oh, and I mean it — don't make me look bad, because it really matters to me, you get it?

Caption 41, Il Commissario Manara S2EP4 - Miss Maremma - Part 11

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We can also use tenere when we want to make sure to mention something.  So we can follow the preposition a with either a noun or a verb.

Ci tengo a dire una cosa,

I feel the need to say one thing,

Caption 17, Il Commissario Manara S2EP9 - L'amica ritrovata - Part 3

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So when something or someone means something to you, try saying, Ci tengo (it matters to me).

 

You can turn it into a question:

Ci tieni davvero tanto a mangiare al ristorante stasera? Perché io sono molto stanca” (do you really care about going out to eat tonight? Because I am really tired).

 

Since tenere is used so much in various contexts, it may be hard to search for examples, but the more you watch and listen, the more you will notice that Italians use this turn of phrase all the time.

 

What are some of the things a cui tieni (that matter to you)?

È una fotografia alla quale tengo molto.

It's a photograph I'm very attached to.

Caption 27, L'arte della cucina La Prima Identitá - Part 9

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Disgrazia: A fickle friend

Let's look at a false friend. Not always false, but frequently. 

Una disgrazia

When something bad happens, like an accident, or a natural disaster, one word Italians commonly use is una disgraziaÈ successa una disgrazia (something bad happened/there's been an accident).

 

Domani, me [mi] capiterà 'na [una] disgrazia.

Tomorrow, some calamity will happen to me.

-Che disgrazia?

What calamity?

-Qualcosa de [di] male.

-Something bad.

Perché oggi sto troppo bene, canterino.

Because, today, I feel too good, songbird.

Captions 3-6, Fratelli Taviani - La passione e l'utopia

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The woman says it: something bad. In the following example, a suspect is describing someone dying as a terrible accident, not a murder.

 

È caduto e ha battuto la testa, ma non volevo!

He fell and hit his head but I didn't want that.

È stata, è stata 'na [una] disgrazia!

It was, it was a terrible accident.

Captions 20-21, Il Commissario Manara - S1EP6 - Reazione a Catena

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Here, again, a terrible tragedy:

 

Era sull'autobus dove è successa la disgrazia.

She was on the bus where the tragedy occurred.

Caption 12, Il Commissario Manara - S2EP9 - L'amica ritrovata

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The cognate is, of course, "a disgrace," but if we look up disgrace, we see other words that are used more commonly, such as una vergogna.

 

Tu sei la vergogna della nostra famiglia.

You are the disgrace of our family.

Vergognati!

Shame on you!

Captions 46-47, La Ladra - EP. 8 - Il momento giusto

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So, disgrazia often refers to a natural disaster or someone dying suddenly. It's just something to keep in mind (tenere a mente or tenere presente).  Because it might happen that when you are traveling in Italy, you'll get some bad news. It's important to know that disgrazia might refer to a tragedy, an accident, a misfortune. Not necessarily will the speaker be talking about a disgrace.

A related term: disgraziato

As we have mentioned in the past, Italian and English don't always correspond regarding parts of speech.

 

Italians love to call each other names (just like lots of folks). One way to say that someone did something you totally do not approve of is to call them a disgraziato (a disgraceful fellow). We have to be a bit careful because it can either mean someone who has fallen on misfortune, but it can also mean someone who ought to be ashamed of himself, so context is key.

Don't take our word for it.  Let's look at some examples:

 

Disgraziato, ti ho scoperto con le mani dentro al sacco!

You bastard, I've discovered you with your hands in the bag!

Caption 50, Un medico in famiglia S1 - EP2 - Il mistero di Cetinka

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Io non sono come quei disgraziati che parte [sic: partono] per fame, ma'.

I'm not like those poor guys who leave because they're hungry, Ma.

Io vado a Roma per fare lu [pugliese: il] cinema, ma',

I'm going to Rome to make movies, Ma,

sia chiaro, eh, cinema.

to be clear, uh, the movies.

Captions 41-43, Volare - La grande storia di Domenico Modugno

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Keep in mind that when you want to call someone a disgraziato, you need to distinguish between masculine and feminine and singular and plural.

Disgraziato can be used as an adjective or as a noun. We could say that as an adjective it is more likely referring to misfortune:

 

Tu cosa diresti? -Be'...

What would you say? -Well...

direi... povera disgraziata la signora! -Eh. -Eheh!

I would say... poor unlucky lady! -Uh-huh. -Uh-huh!

Captions 49-50, Un medico in famiglia S1 - EP1 - Casa nuova

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As a noun (especially if well-articulated) it might very well be talking about a "bad" person:

 

Disgraziato! Delinquente! Assassino!

Scoundrel! Delinquent! Murderer!

Caption 58, Psicovip - Super Minivip - Ep 17

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Or it can be a combination.

 

Speriamo la prossima stazione di questo disgraziato sia qui vicino.

Let's hope the poor bastard's next stop is near here.

Caption 60, Il Commissario Manara - S1EP2 - Vendemmia tardiva

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Vocabulary