We learned about saying we’re sorry using the verb dispiacere in the lesson How to say you're sorry in Italian. But that’s only one of its common uses. If we look closely at dispiacere we can detect two parts: the root piacere (to please) and the prefix dis-, indicating negation or the opposite (very much like “dis-” in English). In a sense, dispiacere (to displease) is the opposite of piacere (to please, to be pleasing), so when I say “I’m sorry,” I’m saying that something displeases me:
Mi dispiace ma il tiramisù è terminato.
I'm sorry but we've run out of tiramisù.
Caption 17, Passeggiando per Roma - per Roma
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Normally, dispiacere isn’t used as the opposite of piacere. See the lesson I like it - Mi piace, where liking and not liking are discussed. In order to say I don’t like something, I say non mi piace, but if I say mi dispiace, it means “I’m sorry,” at least most of the time.
Oddly enough, by negating the already negating verb dispiacere by saying non mi dispiace, it becomes a sort of via di mezzo (middle way) between liking something and not liking it. It’s as if to say non male (not bad) without the exclamation point.* Non mi dispiace can be the equivalent of “I like it enough” or “I don’t mind it.” In the end, it depends on the inflection and facial expression, as well as on the context. Tutto è relativo (it’s all relative)! Sometimes it serves to temper or soften a statement that might hurt someone’s feelings, as in the example at the end of this lesson.
*For more on saying “not bad” with an exclamation point, see the lesson Elegant and Not So Elegant Turns of Phrase.
Dispiacere is also used when asking someone if they mind something. Usually, a positive answer is expected, especially when using the conditional as in the following example. As in English, the answer may or may not answer the actual question:
Ti dispiacerebbe aprire la porta? -Certo.
Would you mind opening the door? [Would it displease you to open the door?] -Sure.
In the example below, the answer is negative in meaning, but said in a positive statement.
Senta, Le dispiace se diamo un'occhiata in giro?
Listen, do you mind if we have a look around?
-Eh, mi dispiace sì!
-Eh, yes I do mind!
Captions 28-29, Il Commissario Manara - S1EP2 - Vendemmia tardiva
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In a nutshell:
When dispiacere has to do with minding, the pronoun will generally represent the person being addressed, in the second person:
Ti dispiace? (Do you mind?)
Le dispiace? (Do you mind? [formal])
Vi dispiace? (Do you mind? [plural])
When dispiacere has to do with liking something somewhat, the person doing the liking will be indicated by the pronoun:
Non mi dispiace (I like it pretty much)
Non gli dispiace (He likes it OK)
Putting the pieces together, just for fun:
Mi dispiace dirtelo, ma non mi dispiace la pubblicità della concorrenza. Non ti dispiace se ti dico la verità, vero?
I’m sorry to tell you but I somewhat like the competition’s publicity. You don’t mind if I tell you the truth, do you?
Non mi piace quello che dici ma non mi dispiace se mi dici quello che pensi. Anzi...
I don’t like what you’re saying, but I don’t mind if you tell me what you think. On the contrary...
Check your comprehension:
Make a search of the different conjugations of dispiacere in a Yabla search and choose what you think the closest meaning is in each case. There’s no translation right there, so you won’t get any hints except context, but you can check your results by watching the video.
When talking about winning and losing, vincere (to win) and perdere (to lose) are the words you’re looking for. When talking about finding something and losing something, trovare (to find) and perdere (to lose) are useful, too. But perdere also has some other important common uses.
When you miss a train, you lose it: perdere il treno (to miss the train).
Il sette dicembre del duemila,
On the seventh of December of the year two thousand,
io avevo avuto un grosso imprevisto
I had had something unexpected happen
che mi fece perdere il treno per Londra.
that made me miss the train for London.
Captions 54-55, Anna e Marika - Il verbo avere
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When you waste time, you lose it: perdere tempo (to waste time).
Lo sapevo che non dovevo venire.
I knew I shouldn't have come.
Mi state facendo perdere solo tempo.
You're just wasting my time.
Captions 49-50, Concorso internazionale di cortometraggio - A corto di idee
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When there’s a leaky faucet, it loses water: perde (it leaks).
Ma guarda che l'ho aggiustato il rubinetto, adesso perde poco!
But look, I fixed the faucet, now it leaks very little!
Caption 49, Un medico in famiglia Stagione 1 - EP2 - Il mistero di Cetinka
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When you let something go, you drop it, you forget about it, you let it get lost: lasciare perdere (to let it be).
Ti aiuto ad asciugare? -No, lascia perdere, sei stanco, lavati! Eh...
Shall I help you dry? -No, forget it, you're tired, wash up! Uh...
Caption 44, Un medico in famiglia Stagione 1 - EP2 - Il mistero di Cetinka
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Much of the time perdere means “to lose,” but, non perdere di vista (don’t lose sight of) the common expressions above!
Here are some more instances where perdere is used:
When you’ve missed the beginning of a movie:
Ho perso l’inizio!
I missed the beginning!
When you’ve lost weight:
Ho perso dieci chili!
I lost ten kilos!
When you don’t want to miss something:
Venezia è da non perdere!
Venice is not to be missed!
When you can’t find your way:
Sono perso.
I’m lost.
Learning suggestion:
Be on the lookout for these particular meanings of perdere. You’ll find them cropping up often in Yabla videos, and in real life, if you’re lucky enough to listen to Italian conversation. Soon enough all these meanings will become familiar to you. And when you next miss a train, or a flight, or have a leaky faucet, or get lost, or waste time, ricordatevi (remember) that perdere is a word da non perdere (not to be missed).
Sometimes saying you’re sorry is a quick thing, because you did something like bumping into someone by accident. In Italian, depending on how you say it, you might have to make a quick decision: How well do I know this person, and how formal should I be?
The familiar form is scusami (excuse me), or simply scusa. Grammatically speaking, we’re using the imperative form of scusare (to excuse). If you look at the conjugation of scusare, you’ll see that it’s conjugated like other verbs ending in -are (these verbs are explained by Daniela in her popular grammar lesson series!). You’ll also see that it’s easy to get things mixed up.
Learning conjugations can be daunting, but it’s worth learning the imperatives of scusare, since it’s a verb you’ll need in many situations. While you’re at it, you might do the same with perdonare (to pardon, to forgive), which conjugates the same way, and can have a similar meaning, as in the following situation where Marika is pretending to be distracted.
Perdonami, scusami tanto, ma ero sovrappensiero.
Forgive me, really sorry, but I was lost in thought.
Caption 25, Marika e Daniela - Il verbo chiedere
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It can be helpful to remember that in the familiar form, the mi (me) gets tacked onto the end of the verb: scusami, perdonami (and in the familiar second person plural: scusatemi, perdonatemi). But when using the polite form you need to put the mi first, making two words: mi scusi, mi perdoni.
Signora mi scusi, Lei è parente della vittima?
Madam, excuse me, are you a relative of the victim?
Caption 12, Il Commissario Manara - S1EP1 - Un delitto perfetto
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Attenzione! If you ask a friend to forgive you, the question is: mi perdoni? If instead you’re saying “pardon me” to a stranger, it’s mi perdoni (and is not a question, but a command). It all has to do with inflection and context.
Sono in ritardo, mi perdoni?
I’m late. Will you forgive me?
Mi perdoni, non ho sentito il Suo nome.
Pardon me, I didn’t hear your name.
In many cases, you can use the generic chiedo scusa (I ask for pardon, I ask forgiveness). This way, no worries about complicated conjugations!
On Italian TV interviews are conducted using the polite form of address, but in this case the intervistatore (interviewer) knows the intervistato (interviewee) Tiziano Terzani very well, and would like to make an exception.
Chiedo scusa ai telespettatori se userò il "tu" con lui.
I'll ask the television audience for forgiveness if I use the "tu" form with him.
Captions 24-25, Tiziano Terzani - Cartabianca
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Another way to say you’re sorry is mi dispiace (I’m sorry), often shortened to mi spiace (I’m sorry), which is a bit weightier than “excuse me” and doesn’t necessarily involve the other person pardoning you.
Mi spiace, ma qualcuno doveva pur dirvelo.
I'm sorry, but someone had to say it to you.
Questa è la realtà.
This is the reality.
Captions 74-75, Concorso internazionale di cortometraggio - A corto di idee
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Mi dispiace is used even when it’s not at all a question of asking pardon, such as when we hear about a disgrazia (adversity, terrible loss). In the following example, the father is using lasciare (to leave) to mean his daughter has died. Notice the plural ending of the participle (normally lasciato) that agrees with ci (us).
Angela ci ha lasciati. -Mi dispiace.
Angela's left us. -I'm sorry.
Captions 22-23, Il Commissario Manara - S1EP3 - Rapsodia in Blu
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There’s much more to say about being sorry, and about using the verb dispiacere. Ci dispiace (we’re sorry), but it will have to wait for another lesson. A presto!
Just as “get” in English serves many purposes, and has many shades of meaning, there are words in Italian that work in a similar way. One of these is beccare. It comes from becco (beak) and means “to peck,” but it’s used in colloquial speech to mean “to take,” “to catch,” or “to get.” It’s often used reflexively (for more on reflexives, see this lesson), and that’s how Manara uses it as he questions an uncooperative witness:
Se non vuoi beccarti un'incriminazione per complicità in omicidio...
If you don't want to get yourself an indictment for complicity in murder...
Caption 24, Il Commissario Manara - S1EP4 - Le Lettere Di Leopardi
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Here’s one more example from a Yabla video:
I fotografi! -C'hanno beccato!
The photographers! -They've caught us!
Captions 3-4, Trailer - Paparazzi
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If you get caught doing something you shouldn’t, that’s when you say mi hanno beccato (they caught me)! You might use beccare if you get caught in the rain without an umbrella: mi sono beccato [or beccata] un raffreddore (I caught a cold), or if after dialing someone’s number many times, they finally answer: finalmente t’ho beccato (I finally got you)!
It's not always easy to know when using beccare would be appropriate, but by listening for it and repeating it to yourself when you hear it, little by little you'll find it on the tip of your tongue at just the right moment. More meanings and examples can be found here.
In certain situations, it’s important to put one’s best foot forward, to make a good impression. In Italian, that’s fare bella figura, or simply, fare figura. For example:
Le sue scarpe sono costate poco, ma fanno figura.
Her shoes didn’t cost very much, but they make her look good (or, “they make a good impression”).
Fare bella figura (making a good impression) isn’t always possible though. Sometimes, without meaning to, you botch it and make a bad impression, or worse, are embarrassed by something you did or said. And that’s when you use brutta figura (bad impression). Just as bella is often left to our imagination, in this case, too, it’s common to leave off the brutta. To determine whether someone’s talking about a good or bad figura, pay close attention to the context, as well as to the speaker’s inflection and facial expression.
O mamma mia! Mamma mia, che figura che ho fatto.
Oh dear! Oh dear, what a bad impression I've made.
Caption 12, Il Commissario Manara - S1EP1 - Un delitto perfetto - Part 6
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In the following example, a couple is going to a birthday party and neither of them remembered to take the birthday present.
Ma guarda te che figura!
Look what a [bad] impression we'll make!
Ti rendi conto che siamo a mani vuote?
Do you realize we are empty-handed?
Che figura facciamo?
What kind of impression will we make?
Captions 18-20, Un Figlio a tutti i costi - film - Part 19
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Note: The fact that there’s no article here is normal for this idiom, but in some cases, an article or other modifier will be included for clarity or emphasis.
What about when someone puts you in an embarrassing situation, or makes you look like a fool? Ti fa fare brutta figura (he/she makes you make a bad impression).
In an episode of Medico in Famiglia, Maria has gone missing, and her parents call her supposed boyfriend to find out where she is. He’s not her boyfriend, though, so just imagine how embarrassed she is upon discovering they’d called him.
Mi avete fatto fare questa figura?
You made me make a bad impression? [Did you make me look stupid?]
Caption 62, Un medico in famiglia Stagione 1 - EP1 - Casa nuova
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Maria’s brother has a retort ready with a play on words. He uses a more neutral definition of figura (figure, person, appearance, impression):
Non hai fatto nessuna figura perché quello, a te, non ti vede proprio! -Eh, bambini...
You made no impression at all because that one doesn't even see you! -Uh, kids...
Captions 63-64, Un medico in famiglia Stagione 1 - EP1 - Casa nuova
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Another expression that’s used a lot in relational conversations comes from the verb figurare (to appear, to be, to show). This expression can be used as a sort of antidote to someone’s feeling as if they’re making or have made a brutta figura. It uses the reflexive form figurarsi (to imagine).
If you apologize for being late, or if you ask if you are disturbing someone, the response might likely be figurati! (of course not!). The person saying it is attempting to put you at ease, for example after you forgot a dinner date.
E tu lo trovi leale accettare un invito a cena e poi non presentarsi?
And do you find it loyal to accept a dinner invitation and then not come?
-Non ti ho avvertito?
-Didn't I let you know?
Scusami. Ci sei rimasto male?
Sorry. Did you feel hurt?
-Figurati, la cena era ottima.
-Of course not, the dinner was excellent.
Captions 6-9, Il Commissario Manara - S1EP3 - Rapsodia in Blu - Part 3
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At the same time, it can mean something like “no way!” or “yeah, right!” or “don’t count on it!”:
C'hai paura?
What, are you scared?
Paura io? Ma figurati.
Scared, me? Don't count on it.
Captions 44-46, Il Commissario Manara S1EP3 - Rapsodia in Blu - Part 17
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Learning suggestion:
Watch and listen to the Yabla videos where these expressions are present (do a search of both figura and figurati). Hide the translation. Listen for the inflection. Is the speaker trying to put someone at ease, or being ironic? When no adjective is present for describing the figura, which do you think it is?
Meanwhile, imagine a situation—invent a dialogue. Here’s something to get you started.
Ti ho fatto fare brutta figura? -Ma figurati, ho fatto la figura dello scemo tutto da solo.
Did I embarrass you? -Of course not, I came off as an idiot all by myself.
Devo dire che quegli orecchini da due soldi fanno figura! -Grazie, ma questa giacca vecchissima, che figura fa? -Beh, per me, fai sempre una bellissima figura.
I gotta say, those cheap earrings happen to look really nice! -Thanks, but this super old jacket, how does that make me look? -Well, to me, you always look great!
Che figura! Quando sono arrivata alla cassa, non avevo abbastanza soldi per pagare.
How embarrassing! When I got to the check out, I didn’t have enough money to pay.
Il capo mi darà un aumento, sicuro! -Figurati!
The boss is going to give me a raise, for sure! -Yeah, right. (or, “Don’t count on it!”)
Divertitevi! (Have fun!)
In a previous lesson, we joined Anna and Marika at the famous Trattoria al Tevere Biondo in Rome, where they were having lunch... Later on, after their meal, they start chatting with the owner Giuseppina, who has plenty of stories to tell. She uses an expression that’s kind of fun:
Ma chi me lo fa fà [fare], io m'alzo due ore prima la mattina
But who makes me do it? I get up two hours earlier in the morning
e la faccio espressa.
and I do it to order.
Ho fatto sempre stò [questo] lavoro.
I've always done it this way.
-Così si cura la qualità.
-That way you make sure of the quality.
Captions 24-26, Anna e Marika - Trattoria Al Biondo Tevere
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“Who makes me do it?” is the literal translation, but the gist is, “why should I go to all that trouble?” And with her Roman speech, she shortens the infinitive fare (to make, to do) to fà. As a matter of fact, as she tells her stories Giuseppina chops off the end of just about every verb in the infinitive. This way of speaking is popular all over Italy, so get some practice with Giuseppina!
Giuseppina may chop off her verbs, but the characters in Commissario Manara chop off the end of the adverb bene (well), turning it into bè. To agree to something, va bene (literally, "he/she/it goes well") is the expression to use. But when the conversation gets going, and it's a back and forth of "OK, but..." or "All right, all right!" or "OK, let's do this," like between Luca Manara and his team, va bene often becomes vabbè. This simple expression, depending on what tone of voice is used, can say a lot. A Yabla search with vabbè will bring up many examples in Manara videos, and plenty of other videos as well.
In one episode, two detectives on Manara’s team think they’ve made a discovery, but of course the Commissario has already figured things out, and they’re disappointed.
Vabbè, però così non c'è gusto... scusa.
OK, but that way there's no satisfaction... sorry.
-Vabbè, te l'avevo detto io, 'o [lo] sapevo.
-OK, I told you so, I knew it.
Captions 14-15, Il Commissario Manara - S1EP3 - Rapsodia in Blu
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Vabbè is an expression that gets used about as often as “OK.” Sometimes, though, we really do need to know if things are all right. In this case we use the full form, va bene? (is it all right?):
Eh, guardi, pago con la carta. Va bene?
Uh, look, I'll pay by credit card. Alright?
-OK.
-OK.
Captions 38-39, Marika spiega - L'euro in Italia, con Anna
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In her reply, the salesperson uses the international, “OK” but she could just as easily have said, va bene (that’s fine).
It’s important to understand abbreviated words when you hear them, but in most situations, when speaking, use the full form—you can’t go wrong.
We saw in the last lesson how the verb sentire takes care of several of our senses. Not to leave out the sense of sight (la vista), let’s look at how it‘s used in some common expressions.
If we translate the English expression “I can’t wait” literally, it becomes non posso aspettare, and while this can be useful if someone is late, and you really can’t wait for him, we sometimes mean we are looking forward to something with anticipation. As we see in the following example, Italian uses the verb vedere (to see) to express this.
Francesca had been going back and forth about learning to drive. But now, she’s really looking forward to getting started, so much so that she “can’t see the hour.”
Ma invece adesso sono convintissima,
But now however I'm totally convinced,
motivata e non vedo l'ora di cominciare.
motivated and I can't wait to start.
Caption 4, Francesca - alla guida
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If there’s someone you don’t like very much, it’s probably someone you don’t want to see. In fact, if you say, non lo posso vedere (I can’t see him), you’re really saying you can’t bear seeing him. Note: If you do want to say that you can’t see something or someone, just say, non lo vedo (I don’t see it/him) or non riesco a vederlo (I don’t succeed in seeing it/him).
You might be so hungry you can’t see straight. It so happens that an expression made famous in an Italian TV commercial for a candy bar says just that. Non ci vedo più dalla fame! (I can’t see straight from hunger [I’m famished]!)
Many expressions using vedere (to see) and occhio (eye) do indeed coincide with the English use of the sense of sight. For example, visto che translates easily as “seeing that,” although we would usually sooner use “since.” It’s a good expression to have handy when you are explaining something, like the woman telling us about her day at the lake.
E visto che siamo solo ad un chilometro,
And since we are just one kilometer away,
penso che andrò e tenterò di rilassarmi tutto il giorno.
I think that I will go and try to relax all day.
Captions 12-13, Una gita - al lago
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When you want to talk to someone privately, you want to see the expression in their eyes as they speak, so parlare a quattr’occhi (to speak with four eyes) is to have a conversation face to face.
If something is super expensive, you might describe it as costing un occhio della testa (an eye of the head), which isn’t that different from paying “through the nose,” or something costing “an arm and a leg!"
When something is too obvious to question, you might hear this: Vorrei anche vedere (I’d also like to see that), meaning something like, “I should think so/not!” “Yeah, right,” or “No way.”
Putting it all together just for fun:
Stamattina sono andata a parlare a quattr’occhi con la mia professoressa anche se non la posso vedere. Ora non vedo l’ora di arrivare a casa perché non ci vedo più dalla fame. Visto che I panini al bar costavano un occhio della testa, vorrei anche vedere se ne compravo uno.
This morning I went to talk face to face with my teacher even though I can’t stand her. Now I can’t wait to get home because I’m starving. Seeing that the sandwiches at the bar cost an arm and a leg, there was no way I was buying one.
And to really conclude, chi s’è visto s’è visto (literally, “we’ve seen whomever we’ve seen” meaning, “that’s the end of it”).
Learning suggestion:
Practice using the expressions in this lesson until they feel comfortable. (Think about all the the things you are looking forward to!) Then visit WordReference to see all the modi di dire connected with vedere, and add one or two more to your repertory.
Sounding like a native speaker is quite a challenge. Magari (maybe) is a word that can help your spoken Italian become more natural—almost like magic!
Think of all the ways you say “maybe” in English:
may or might (potrei, potresti, potrebbe, which is the present conditional of the verb potere [to be able to])
perhaps (forse)
could be (può darsi, possibilmente)
possibly (forse, può darsi)
Magari can work for all these meanings. As an adverb, magari basically means “maybe,” as in this telephone exchange between Lara, Lara’s aunt, and Commissioner Manara. He is calling to see how Lara is, and mentions he might (magari) stop in later. Lara’s aunt is thrilled—but Lara, not so much. She grabs the phone and tells him so. Ho detto magari (I said maybe), he protests:
No, volevo solamente sapere come sta.
No, I was just wondering how she is.
Magari passo a farle visita più tardi.
Maybe I'll drop by to visit her later.
Captions 35-36, Il Commissario Manara - S1EP2 - Vendemmia tardiva
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Eh sì, certo... -No, no, dammi il telefono!
Oh yes, sure... -No, no, give me the phone!
Non ci pensare neanche.
Don't even think of it.
-Ho detto magari.
-I said maybe.
Captions 39-41, Il Commissario Manara - S1EP2 - Vendemmia tardiva
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But in the following example, the waiter at the lakeside restaurant has suggested to a woman that, given the very hot sun, she might like to jump in the water. Her reply, Magari! in a phrase all by itself, said with a certain emphasis, expresses a wish that something were true. She’d love to dive in, but doesn’t know how to swim. (“I’d love to, but...” or, on a more colloquial level, “Yeah, right! I don’t even know how to swim!” or ”If only [I knew how to swim]!”)
Un tuffo?
A dive?
Magari! Peccato che non so nuotare.
I wish! Too bad I don't know how to swim.
Captions 12-13, Una gita - al lago - Part 3
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Magari is a word that can temper something you say and you can add it just about anywhere in a sentence. In Amiche - Anna e Marika raccontano..., we are at the close of a conversation between Marika and Anna, talking about their lives. Instead of just saying, ora facciamo i saluti (now let’s say goodbye), or allora ciao (well, goodbye), Marika softens it with magari, turning it into a suggestion rather than a statement or an order.
Bene.
Good.
-Ora facciamo i saluti magari. -Mmh.
-Now maybe we should say goodbye. -Mm.
Captions 41-42, Amiche - Anna e Marika raccontano...
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Learning tip:
Magari is a word that slips off the tongue with ease, and Italians use it often in conversation. As you try talking to yourself in Italian (a great exercise!), experiment with using it when in English you would say, “Maybe I’ll...” “I just might...” “Yeah, right!” “Yeah, if only it were true,” or “I think I will...”
It also works in the negative: magari, no (better not, maybe not, I wouldn’t).
Sometimes magari just adds a little something to the phrase; other times it is essential. To see more examples of how it is used in conversation, you can do a search of the Yabla videos: Click here and you'll see all instances magari highlighted. You can then go and watch the videos to get a more complete picture.
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