The verb stufare means "to stew," so it's a cooking verb. You cook something for a long time. In English we use "to stew" figuratively — "to fret" — but Italians use it a bit differently, to mean "to get fed up." What inspired this lesson was the first line in this week's segment of L'Oriana.
Sono stufa di intervistare attori e registi, non ne posso più.
I'm tired of interviewing actors and directors, I can't take it anymore.
Caption 1, L'Oriana film - Part 3
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Ma se fosse stato... -Se, se, Manara, sono stufo delle sue giustificazioni!
But if that had happened... -If, if, Manara. I'm sick of your justifications!
Caption 7, Il Commissario Manara S2EP1 - Matrimonio con delitto - Part 15
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Fabrizio, basta. Basta. Sono stufa delle tue promesse.
Fabrizio, that's enough. Enough. I'm sick of your promises.
Captions 67-68, Il Commissario Manara S2EP9 - L'amica ritrovata - Part 5
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You will often see the expression Basta! (enough) close by stufo, as in the previous example— they go hand in hand. The adjective stufo is used when you have already had it, you are fed up, you are already tired of something.
Stufo is an adjective that comes up a lot in arguments. Can you think of some verbs to use with it?
Sono stufa di lavare i piatti tutte le sere (I'm sick of doing the dishes every night).
Sono stufo di...[pick a verb].
Sono stufo di camminare. Prendiamo un taxi (I'm tired of walking. Let's take a taxi).Sono stufo di discutere con te. Parliamo di altro (I'm tired of arguing with you. Let's talk about something else).Sei stufo, o vuoi fare un altro giro (are you tired of this, or do you want to do another round)?
Sì. -Ma io mi sono stufato.
Yes. -But I've had enough.
Caption 18, Sposami EP 2 - Part 21
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As you can see, it's common for the verb form, used reflexively, to stand alone, but we can also use it as we did the adjective form, with a verb.
Mi sono stufata di camminare (I'm tired of walking).
Let's keep in mind that we have to pay attention to who is speaking. The ending of the participle will change according to gender and number.
Two girls are hiking but are offered a ride:
Menomale. Ci eravamo stufate di camminare (Good thing, We had gotten tired of walking).
But stufarsi can also be used in the present tense. For example, a guy with bad knees loves to run but can't, so he has to walk. He might say:
Meglio camminare, ma mi stufo subito (It's better to walk but I get bored right away). Preferisco correre (I like running better).
And finally, we can use the verb non-reflexively when someone is making someone else tire of something or someone.
A me m'hai stufato con sta storia, hai capito? Eh.
You've tired me out/bored me with this story, you understand? Huh.
Caption 35, Un medico in famiglia Stagione 1 EP2 - Il mistero di Cetinka - Part 12
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Let's also remember that la stufa is a heater. In earlier times and even now in some places, it was also the stove or oven, used both for heating and cooking food and for heating the living space. The double meaning is essential to understanding the lame joke someone makes in Medico in Famiglia.
In una casa dove vive l'anziano non servono i riscaldamenti perché l'anziano stufa!
In a house where an elderly person lives there's no need for heating because the elderly person makes others tired of him.
Captions 91-92, Un medico in famiglia Stagione 1 EP2 - Il mistero di Cetinka - Part 6
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Practice: We don't want to promote feeling negative about things, but as you go about your day, you can pretend to be tired of something, and practice saying Sono stufo/a di... or quite simply, Basta, mi sono stufata/a. For "extra credit," try following it up with what you would like to do as an alternative.
Let's look at a false friend. Not always false, but frequently.
When something bad happens, like an accident, or a natural disaster, one word Italians commonly use is una disgrazia. È successa una disgrazia (something bad happened/there's been an accident).
Domani, me [mi] capiterà 'na [una] disgrazia.
Tomorrow, some calamity will happen to me.
-Che disgrazia?
What calamity?
-Qualcosa de [di] male.
-Something bad.
Perché oggi sto troppo bene, canterino.
Because, today, I feel too good, songbird.
Captions 3-6, Fratelli Taviani - La passione e l'utopia
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The woman says it: something bad. In the following example, a suspect is describing someone dying as a terrible accident, not a murder.
È caduto e ha battuto la testa, ma non volevo!
He fell and hit his head but I didn't want that.
È stata, è stata 'na [una] disgrazia!
It was, it was a terrible accident.
Captions 20-21, Il Commissario Manara - S1EP6 - Reazione a Catena
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Here, again, a terrible tragedy:
Era sull'autobus dove è successa la disgrazia.
She was on the bus where the tragedy occurred.
Caption 12, Il Commissario Manara - S2EP9 - L'amica ritrovata
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The cognate is, of course, "a disgrace," but if we look up disgrace, we see other words that are used more commonly, such as una vergogna.
Tu sei la vergogna della nostra famiglia.
You are the disgrace of our family.
Vergognati!
Shame on you!
Captions 46-47, La Ladra - EP. 8 - Il momento giusto
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So, disgrazia often refers to a natural disaster or someone dying suddenly. It's just something to keep in mind (tenere a mente or tenere presente). Because it might happen that when you are traveling in Italy, you'll get some bad news. It's important to know that disgrazia might refer to a tragedy, an accident, a misfortune. Not necessarily will the speaker be talking about a disgrace.
As we have mentioned in the past, Italian and English don't always correspond regarding parts of speech.
Italians love to call each other names (just like lots of folks). One way to say that someone did something you totally do not approve of is to call them a disgraziato (a disgraceful fellow). We have to be a bit careful because it can either mean someone who has fallen on misfortune, but it can also mean someone who ought to be ashamed of himself, so context is key.
Don't take our word for it. Let's look at some examples:
Disgraziato, ti ho scoperto con le mani dentro al sacco!
You bastard, I've discovered you with your hands in the bag!
Caption 50, Un medico in famiglia S1 - EP2 - Il mistero di Cetinka
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Io non sono come quei disgraziati che parte [sic: partono] per fame, ma'.
I'm not like those poor guys who leave because they're hungry, Ma.
Io vado a Roma per fare lu [pugliese: il] cinema, ma',
I'm going to Rome to make movies, Ma,
sia chiaro, eh, cinema.
to be clear, uh, the movies.
Captions 41-43, Volare - La grande storia di Domenico Modugno
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Keep in mind that when you want to call someone a disgraziato, you need to distinguish between masculine and feminine and singular and plural.
Disgraziato can be used as an adjective or as a noun. We could say that as an adjective it is more likely referring to misfortune:
Tu cosa diresti? -Be'...
What would you say? -Well...
direi... povera disgraziata la signora! -Eh. -Eheh!
I would say... poor unlucky lady! -Uh-huh. -Uh-huh!
Captions 49-50, Un medico in famiglia S1 - EP1 - Casa nuova
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As a noun (especially if well-articulated) it might very well be talking about a "bad" person:
Disgraziato! Delinquente! Assassino!
Scoundrel! Delinquent! Murderer!
Caption 58, Psicovip - Super Minivip - Ep 17
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Or it can be a combination.
Speriamo la prossima stazione di questo disgraziato sia qui vicino.
Let's hope the poor bastard's next stop is near here.
Caption 60, Il Commissario Manara - S1EP2 - Vendemmia tardiva
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When talking about winning and losing, vincere (to win) and perdere (to lose) are the words you’re looking for. When talking about finding something and losing something, trovare (to find) and perdere (to lose) are useful, too. But perdere also has some other important common uses.
When you miss a train, you lose it: perdere il treno (to miss the train).
Il sette dicembre del duemila,
On the seventh of December of the year two thousand,
io avevo avuto un grosso imprevisto
I had had something unexpected happen
che mi fece perdere il treno per Londra.
that made me miss the train for London.
Captions 54-55, Anna e Marika - Il verbo avere
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When you waste time, you lose it: perdere tempo (to waste time).
Lo sapevo che non dovevo venire.
I knew I shouldn't have come.
Mi state facendo perdere solo tempo.
You're just wasting my time.
Captions 49-50, Concorso internazionale di cortometraggio - A corto di idee
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When there’s a leaky faucet, it loses water: perde (it leaks).
Ma guarda che l'ho aggiustato il rubinetto, adesso perde poco!
But look, I fixed the faucet, now it leaks very little!
Caption 49, Un medico in famiglia Stagione 1 - EP2 - Il mistero di Cetinka
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When you let something go, you drop it, you forget about it, you let it get lost: lasciare perdere (to let it be).
Ti aiuto ad asciugare? -No, lascia perdere, sei stanco, lavati! Eh...
Shall I help you dry? -No, forget it, you're tired, wash up! Uh...
Caption 44, Un medico in famiglia Stagione 1 - EP2 - Il mistero di Cetinka
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Much of the time perdere means “to lose,” but, non perdere di vista (don’t lose sight of) the common expressions above!
Here are some more instances where perdere is used:
When you’ve missed the beginning of a movie:
Ho perso l’inizio!
I missed the beginning!
When you’ve lost weight:
Ho perso dieci chili!
I lost ten kilos!
When you don’t want to miss something:
Venezia è da non perdere!
Venice is not to be missed!
When you can’t find your way:
Sono perso.
I’m lost.
Learning suggestion:
Be on the lookout for these particular meanings of perdere. You’ll find them cropping up often in Yabla videos, and in real life, if you’re lucky enough to listen to Italian conversation. Soon enough all these meanings will become familiar to you. And when you next miss a train, or a flight, or have a leaky faucet, or get lost, or waste time, ricordatevi (remember) that perdere is a word da non perdere (not to be missed).